The longest days

Just a few days ago Matt, Cooper, Murphy (one of the cats) and I set out to drive to Salina. We had already dropped off Barley for his few days at doggie daycare- a place he absolutely loves (and luckily, they seem to love him back). Murphy got dropped off in Topeka, where he will be trying to make some new friends and living with Dad and Jeanne (he's on loan they say). I'm pretty sure he will love his new digs- he was able to sleep on a cozy bed with Jeanne's sister Juany that first night, he has several great views of trees and therefore birds, and a new fuzzy friend named Chip who has been a bit lonely and wanting a friend just like Murphy.

So, after we successfully dropped off Murphy, we went on our way to Salina where we stayed the night with Mom and Dave (had super yummy chicken and noodles), saw both of my siblings and their kids, and dropped off Cooper. The weather was beginning to change a bit and it was expected to be snowing on Sunday. On Sunday, we got up and left fairly early to trek out to Denver. The weather was ok until we hit about Colby, where it started snowing. A lot. We could only drive in 1 lane because the other was snow packed and icy. I was more than a little concerned that somewhere along I-70, they'd close down the road forcing us to stay in some tiny little Colorado town like Burlington. My appointment began on Monday at 10:45 am and the last thing I wanted was to either miss it (panic. blood pressure shooting thru the roof), or be rushing to try to make it on time. But, after just a short while, the road cleared up a lot, we made it to Denver where it was clear skies and a beautiful blanket of snow laying over absolutely everything. It was serene and pretty.

We decided to stay at an all suites hotel- I could only imagine being bed-bound for 2 days with Matt sitting on the edge of the bed trying to watch tv or whatever. That would have been awful for both of us!! I'd feel like he was looming over me the whole time and he'd shift around a lot and be super uncomfortable- probably clearing his throat a lot. We decided on the Staybridge Suites, owned by Hyatt, because that is where our friends stayed who went through ivf at CCRM just a few months before (and they are PREGNANT- so there must be some luck in that!). Our transfer time was also the exact same as theirs- a Monday at 12:30pm- exactly 16 weeks later, with acupuncture before and after the transfer. We did EVERYTHING the same. Why not, right?!

Monday. We were up pretty early- excitement took over that morning. I was still pretty nervous, but more excited. We got to the clinic, a nice phlebotomist did a blood draw- she made sure to go around the area where I was bruised from the last blood draw in KC just a few days earlier. Then, it was time to go upstairs for the transfer. Downstairs is the super pretty lobby with the waterfall, marble floors, lots of windows and cute coffee shop. Upstairs is like something out of a James Bond movie. Still super nice with marble and teak, , but with the most amazing technology all around and people hurriedly rushing around with an obvious task to complete. It seems like we are taking a peek behind some super secret curtain. I was taken to a room where I was to stay for the entire process. The acupuncturist was very nice (funny, I noticed she had a black eye and I SO wanted to know how she got it- good thing the Valium I later got made me sleep instead of losing my judgement and asking!) I got the needles in my head, my ears, my belly, wrists, shins/ankles, and tops of my feet. I was told to relax, let my arms and legs get heavy and I'd be there about 25 min with the acupuncturist coming in "stimulate" the needles once. My arms and legs got heavy for sure, I fell asleep.

After all the needles were out, they let Matt come into my room, and in came my nurse to check blood pressure and give me the Valium, had me sign some paperwork, and give me my instructions for when we left that day. Then, Dr. S came in the room and asked if we had any questions. He was followed by the embryologist (a different one than we had met before, still young and pretty, just like the last one. If my brother in law Scott is reading this, you should really hang around where embryologists work- apparently they are all smart and hot!). She came in with one of those super high techy looking machines- it had a pretty large screen on the top- like a nice big Mac screen. She said both of our embryos made it out of the freeze and that they had already started dividing (whew!). She then showed us our 2 embryos on the monitor- they were being magnified about a 1000 times so we could see all the cells. It was kind of weird actually, they definitely looked different from each other. Dr. S and the nurse used an ultrasound machine to place the catheter where it needed to be in my uterus (he mentioned a "tricky curve" a "bit of a roller coaster"- because I have a pretty significantly tipped uterus. Just one more reason we feel the last IVF didn't work- he did not use ultrasound to be sure the catheter was placed in the correct spot). Once the catheter was in place, the embryologist reached into the machine, and carried the embryos over to Dr. S in their own catheter. In about 1 minute they were placed through the first catheter right where they needed to be, he even showed us on the ultrasound- 2 little white dots. All done. Acupuncture again, rest a little while longer, then wheel-chaired out.

I then rested 2 days in the hotel bed, panicked every time I sneezed (sure that will jar them loose). We drove back to Salina on Wednesday- well, I really laid in the back of the Subaru- not as much as it sounds, I promise. And now the most excruciating wait. Ugh. Every day I keep waiting for some sign or symptom, only to have none. It is a little early to tell, but I just want something. I have way too much time on my hands and so I think of a million scenarios and possibilities and hope a lot, but then remind myself to also be prepared for the worst. Awful.

We will get results on Friday. We originally thought Wednesday, but with the holiday and all, it will be Friday. Now I am just focusing on Thanksgiving and at least this whole test won't be looming over our families heads. All of our parents will be here for Thanksgiving!

Well, I'll just be waiting and thinking and trying to not do too much over the next few days. I'm not on bed rest any longer, just no strenuous activity- no working out, etc. I'm going to have lunch with a good friend tomorrow and a movie and dinner with Matt tomorrow night just to get my mind off things. Then I will be cooking a little for Thanksgiving on Wednesday (thank-goodness we ordered the bulk of the food from our fave little grocery store).

This is the longest wait of my whole life and it is pure torture. I've read a lot of stuff online (I do not recommend that at all!) and everything is so contradictory!

I'll keep everyone posted, well- sort of. There will not be a post this weekend or maybe not even next week. Matt and I haven't decided when we are sharing our results- but one way or another I will post something here in time.

I'm off to read and hopefully be lulled into a deep sleep!!