I'm a human pincushion... and Surgery tomorrow!

Apparently I only have one arm that has a good enough vein from which to take blood- and it is a really good vein. I thought I caught one of the phlebotomists drooling when she looked at that vein- but she insisted she had just been to the dentist. Problem is, I’ve given more blood in the last year to submit for various tests than I’ve ever given or lost in my entire life (and if you know me well, you know I’m pretty clumsy so I’ve lost a lot from various “accidents”). I’m beginning to look a bit like a junkie and I’m a little self-conscious about it. I decided I had better come up with some good stories as to why my arm is permanently bruised, has red needle marks that never seem to fade, and at times is either bandaged or a little sore. I can just imagine that the young high-school checker at my grocery store is raising his eyebrows a little or the nice guy who came to fix the air-conditioner (whole other story there) is suspiciously looking around our house for evidence of my hidden suburban little habit. So I’ve concocted the most outrageous stories in my head that I have at the ready should anyone start down that path of “Intervention”. Here’s a few of my favorites: 1. I was abducted by this weird cult that injected me with mind-control meds- I was lucky to escape. 2. These strange little vampire spiders live in our house and have taken a liking to my blood 3. The cat did it (ok, so not so outrageous if we’re talking about Mowgli) 4. I fell and hit my head, woke up in the hospital, and had this IV- whew- good thing there wasn’t any permanent damage. Then I’d twitch just a little. I doubt I’m brave enough to actually pull one of these out, but I’m ready!

It’s funny, I think the recipient of these stories might just believe them over the truth: “Yes, I know high-school grocery clerk, I look young and healthy (ok, so I just added the young part for my own ego) but I am undergoing infertility treatment and I get blood taken so often I’m invited to my nurse’s kids birthday party.” In his head he’d be saying…”yeah right lady- first of all you look old to me and second I’m gonna tell all my friends at school that there’s a junkie at my store!” The thing is, no one talks about this kind of stuff so they’d think I was making it up to cover for something else. It is very hush- hush, almost like you have a horrible communicable disease. Somehow, having infertility issues mean that we are less of a person or less of a married couple. It’s ok to not want to have kids, but to not be able to, that’s different. There’s often pity, weird or just sort of dumb remarks by people (“oh, you should just try to relax”, etc- see Jessica’s post a week ago for more on that topic), but it always come back to somehow it being our fault.

Speaking of blood work- all of mine so far has come back good. I’ve recently had blood tests for: extensive genetic screening, every hormone possible, communicable diseases, autoimmune disorders, and antibodies. Clear. Good. Check. We’re in Denver now getting ready for a lengthy visit with a genetic counselor and then an operative hysteroscopy. Today is an hour and a half of discussion over our family genetics (probably way too much information for me thank-you) then Thursday the 25th I go in at 6:30 am, surgery at 7:30 and it should only take about 20 minutes. They remove a fibroid, I recover the rest of the day (Matt will be waiting on me hand and foot I am sure!) and then fly back to Kansas City on Friday early afternoon. Yippee!
We hope to also meet with our doctor and discuss our next steps. That’s really the exciting part (and you thought it was the anesthesia!) Hopefully next week I can update with some news on our progress.

As a fun bonus, I thought I’d include a little list here of celebrities who have either admitted to infertility problems and have undergone some kind of treatment or it’s just been rumored that they did:
1. Dennis Quaid and his new wife: used a surrogate
2. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick: used a surrogate
3. Marcia Cross (Desperate Housewives)- used IVF (supposedly at the same clinic in Colorado!) with donor eggs. Yep, she chose a donor with red hair
4. Nicole Kidman- IVF
5. Courtney Cox Arquette and David Arquette
6. Jennifer Lopez (rumor)- twins- over 39…. Hmmm
7. Julia Roberts (rumor)
8. Brooke Shields
9. Halle Berry (rumor)
10. Salma Hayek (rumor)

The moral of the story with celebrities is that if they have twins, have babies “on their own”, or have babies much past 39 years old, they probably had some assistance. Not always the case, but does raise some suspicion. Sadly, celebrities rarely talk about this (or anyone really- but they are the easiest ones to pick on) which makes it perpetuate amongst us regular folks that having infertility issues is something to keep under wraps and therefore there is less of a supportive community. No charity walks, testimony to Congress, public service announcements, or billboards to raise awareness or get better research into what causes infertility, better treatments and diagnosis, help patients afford the treatments or demand insurance to cover the procedures (or at least all the testing that goes into it). I guess while we’re waiting for more celebrities and others to talk openly about these issues (we sure know when they enter rehab or have martial problems) people like me will just speculate!

Well, I’m off my soap box and done whining now. Time to go put my big girl panties on, toughen up, and get ready for surgery!