Here goes...

Funny, when I asked several friends and family members for ideas on what to name this blog, something that obviously would tell a reader what the content may be, but would also put a "lighter" spin on it, I got a lot of great responses (way better than I could have done on my own!).  While Matt and I decided on the actual blog address (petribaby) it was my 25 year old brother in law (he is adorable!) who actually came up with the title: "Don't Stop Conceiving..." funny.  I laugh every time I think of it!  Now that is the way to lighten up the subject!  

So here's the story so far....I’m a 34 year old woman who is “one of those”.  Yep, I am struggling with infertility.   I’ve found there are a lot of us out there, though it seems to be a somewhat secret  club, password protected and all! I’ve found a few blogs out there that I thought were helpful to me- some that were a combination of practical info and a little humor sprinkled in with the rants.  BUT, some were just rants and too sad (perfect for some people, just SO not me) and some seemed to try to persuade me to carry egg whites to bed and take fish oil or some other “natural cure”.  I prefer to get my medical advice from slightly more reputable medical sources, but that’s just me.  Some of the blogs I really like (for reasons already mentioned), the lucky writers have been successful in the quest to be Mama’s, and now there is quite a bit of talk of spit-up, poop, and funny quips from the mouths of babes.  Good, but not what I need right now.  So, I just decided I’d write what I wanted to hear- what was going on in my little mind. 

 

Every now and then, you just get smacked right in the face when you least expect it.  Here I was, going along with my “master plan”: go to college, go to Grad school, get a good job, get a couple of dogs (ok, so maybe the dream was about 10 dogs... but not important right now), marry the guy of my dreams, and then… have children!  Oh, it’s that last part that was my reality check that I cannot control everything.  I do not have the power to “will” it to happen.   I want to scream with disbelief that I’m ONLY 34!  But, that is kind of on the old side in the fertility world.  Sure, 16 year old girls can accidentally get pregnant while they are on the pill and nursing a nasty drug habit after dropping out of school- but I cannot.    At least not on my own.  By that I mean, Mr. Dreamy and I cannot on our own.   I try not to take too many of those “bitter pills”- but hey, they are there for the taking, so every now and then, I grab a handful and throw myself a pity party (including a little wine and maybe a party hat for good measure).  For the most part though, I can't help but find the humorous things in the challenges of 'Infertility Island' as well as the idiotic.  I decided to write this blog because it has been 16 months that I’ve been wading the waters of infertility and I have encountered PLENTY to write about! I've mentioned before that I’m not a professional writer (so pardon any grammatical errors, lack of witty one liners, or obvious lack of impressive use of the English language)- this is mostly for my own cathartic purposes, updating friends and family, and for anyone else who finds it helpful. 

 

So far, this is where we’ve been: first, we discovered there may be a problem!  Dun dun dun! We sought out a reproductive endocrinologist (at the urging of a very helpful friend) and then one attempt with just the addition of meds, then meds and trigger shot (for ovulation), then meds and IUI (twice) and then our first IVF.   Needless to say, we weren't successful (though with one of those IUI's there was a brief moment they thought it worked).  We are now on our 3^rd doctor for the 2^nd attempt at IVF.  Never mind my lab rat status with countless vials of blood given, too many trips to the stirrups, far too many sonograms (the ultra comfortable, modesty shattering internal probe variety) and tests for a variety of scary sounding illnesses (lupus, rubella, cystic fibrosis anyone?!)  Good news is that we think we have finally found the right doctor (who cares if he is out of state and super expensive!)  We finally feel like we are in really good hands.  

So, wanna hear something funny?  I mean so hilarious, almost makes you cry?!  Well, apparently when we got to our new Doc in Colorado, they did a lot of baseline testing that they do for ALL new patients (all day!) and come to find out, I have what is called a uterine fibroid.  Not just any uterine fibroid, but one that is in the worst possible location (our doc likes to say that fibroids are the real estate of the uterus- all about location) right at the top!  What that actually means is that even with assistance ie: IVF, my chances of implantation of an embryo are cut by more than 50%!  Now, the best rates IVF get each round are around 50-60% anyway, so here I was basically cutting that chance down SIGNIFICANTLY.  Hmmm... according to the docs, fibroids are extremely slow growing and hereditary.  This leads me to the funny part: I had mentioned to my previous doctors that I in fact had a family history of fibroids and endometriosis and they refused to do the extra scope procedure to look for anything saying that I didn't have any symptoms.  Hilarious, right?  The last doc blamed my failed IVF on possibly "bad eggs" and mentioned that after we did another round (and he collected another $10,000 from us) if it failed, I should consider donor eggs.  That was sweet.

We are thrilled we got a second opinion about IVF!  I am no longer mad at the first doc, ok I am still mad.  But I'm at least not going to let it get to me too much.  I'm excited about the possibilities!  I have surgery planned for June 25th in Denver and then we are on our way!